Lesson #1 in Post-Divorce Dating: Be on guard against unwanted affection throughout entirety of date. Men seated next to you are closer (and swifter) than they appear.
Lesson #2 in Post-Divorce Dating: When agreeing to have dinner with middle-aged, non-divorced, single males who have fixations on their dimples, make sure you question when their next birthday is. And then cross your fingers that they didn't lie.
Lesson #3 in Post-Divorce Dating: When entering the dating arena, trust your instincts, wear thick armor, and carry a big stick. Your instincts will make your decisions, your armor will protect you from harm, and the stick will certainly be needed for your defense — and to beat away that pesky little angel on your shoulder who tries to interfere with your common sense.
Lesson #4 in Post-Divorce Dating: When your blind date would rather be couriered home than ride in a car with you, it is safe to say that a second date is probably not going to happen—so go ahead and have that second glass of chardonnay while you're at it.
Lesson #5 in Post-Divorce Dating: If you go to a bar for good conversation with someone of the male gender, make sure you are prepared to do some (or all) of the initiating to get it—or to have a married woman show you how it's done.
Lesson #6 in Post-Divorce Dating: All in all, set-ups are a good thing. First, step 1 removes the pressure of finding a date; then, step 2 yanks you out of your comfort zone toward someone who is totally not your usual type and whose first impression might have normally had you walking away. Finally, step 3 allows for dating practice with a safe, mutually-known, and trusted individual. But watch out for that fourth step—it's a doozy.
Lesson #7 in Post-Divorce Dating: If a complete stranger ever approaches you, takes your hand in his, and smiles at you seductively, get out of there fast and report the suspect immediately to the authorities—he could be a face-licker. Fight back, America. Remember—you can make a difference.
Lesson #8 in Post-Divorce Dating: When your date makes serious second-date mistakes, like acting as if his ex-girlfriends are all scarred for life because he broke up with them, don't give up on the potential just yet—with certain songs, the music and lyrics need to play out a few verses before you start to pick up the tune.
Lesson #9 in Post-Divorce Dating: There are no perfect men in this world—only men who are better at hiding their flaws than others—but one should date these men without fear. Eventually, even Superman has to remove his disguise and reveal his true identity.
Lesson #10 in Post-Divorce Dating: Flirting is a time-honored tradition that requires regular use and exercise in order to see improvement. One should practice flirting on unsuspecting men that are not too important to snare when still enhancing skills. The use of new flirting methods is highly suggested and encouraged, but beware of the "triple-dog-dare" method—it has not been proven to be the best source of motivation.
Lesson #11 in Post-Divorce Dating: Never underestimate your impact on others. Never doubt your own worth. When a person meets you but later doesn't call, it doesn't mean that you aren't important. It doesn't mean you should feel defeated or sad. Simply smile to yourself and trust: you will never know for sure just how many people think that you are someone who is worth remembering.
Lesson #12 in Post-Divorce Dating: Blind dates are like a box of chocolates; you never know what you're gonna get. However, the one piece of advice that always applies? Never disclose the location of a blind date to your friends unless you want company—or a complimentary home video commemorating the occassion.
Lesson #13 in Post-Divorce Dating: Never commit to a five-hour date with a complete stranger who you met on eHarmony. It is not shallow to promise only a drink or coffee before making any further obligations. Also recommended? Before the date, ask the guy to send you a full-body picture of himself in his normal attire—and holding a newspaper with the current date clearly visible.
Lesson #14 in Post-Divorce Dating: How long does it take to heal a broken heart? There is no specific standard for how long it takes to move on after a relationship ends. Many people say it takes half the length of your relationship; therefore, beware a man who is in month two of his 5-year plan...lol...wink... ;-)
Lesson #15 in Post-Divorce Dating: How do you call your loverboy? Apparently, you don't; the loverboys come at you whether you like it or not. So instead of calling your loverboy to see if he answers, save yourself from awkwardly rejecting necklaces (and implied marriage proposals), and avoid loverboy-types at all costs. But the song was correct about one thing—love is definitely strange.
